Note: This post is part of a weekly series called ‘Seneca Sundays’. Each week, I reflect on one of Seneca’s ‘Moral Letters to Lucilius’, and summarise the most practical and useful principles to share with you.
In this letter, Seneca outlines a recipe for being your own best company—how one should carry themselves, think, act, and pray.
1. If you’re going to spend time alone, here is how you should carry yourself
Seneca starts with a caveat: it takes a lot of trust to be alone with oneself. So if we’re hurting or in mourning, it’s best to be in the company of others who can prevent us from betraying ourselves.
However, Seneca then looks to Lucilius as an example of someone who should spend time in their own company. He describes how Lucilius’ self-respect and self-esteem is clear to see in the way he carries himself.
“I remember in what a great-souled way you hurled forth certain phrases, and how full of strength they were… These words did not come from the edge of the lips; these utterances have a solid foundation. This man is not one of the many; he has regard for his real welfare.”
There’s a lot to unpack here. It’s the way Lucilius speaks: with great soul and strength. It’s the substance of what he’s saying: his words aren’t flippant, they’re deliberate and purposeful. It’s the prioritisation of his welfare: having high standards for how he should live and be treated.
I also love how Seneca goes on to say “speak, and live, in this way; see to it that nothing keeps you down.” In this statement he acknowledges that although things will knock us down, it’s within our control to see they don’t keep us down.
2. How to pray, and how to act
Seneca closes the letter by saying we should pray to God as though all people are listening, and act among people as though God is watching.
Regardless of your beliefs, this idea is the essence of integrity, where there is harmony between our internal thoughts and intentions and our outward actions.