One of the best parts about visiting family in Malaysia is sitting and listening to my Poh Poh’s (grandmother’s) stories.
They’re filled with surely-that-can’t-be-true plot twists, hilarity, and a healthy dose of Chinese proverbs. They’re made all the more funny due to my mum having to translate the 50% of Cantonese words I don’t understand.
During one of her stories today, Poh Poh said something to me that stood out: “In our family, there’s no need to say thank you.”
Once she explained her logic, I found it to be powerful and profound.
When you do things for yourself, like doing the dishes or cleaning the home, you don’t say ‘thank you’ to yourself. You just do the thing and move on.
In our culture, a family unit is, and operates, as one. Come rain or shine, we’re committed to one another. So in the same way that we don’t thank ourselves, my Poh Poh has no expectation for anyone in the family to say thank you to her.
‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ are such ingrained habits that I’m unlikely to let go of them when with family, but I really liked this new way of viewing the family unit.