Avoiding hard conversations starts a dangerous habit.
Problems can grow bigger. They don’t get solved. It can lead to resentment. And ultimately it can break apart friendships, businesses, and relationships.
It’s hard talking about hard things. But the cost of not doing so is often far greater.
“Take a coat if you are cold. Leave a coat if you don’t need it anymore.”
At a time when our world needs more kindness, it’s nice to small examples of it hidden in plain sight in my local community.
Some days will feel like millimetres, some like inches, some like metres, and some like miles.
Regardless of the distance, remember that progress is progress.
The New Zealand election was today, and the right-leaning National government is poised to form a government via coalition.
In every election cycle, there is always talk of doom and hope. Both sides pointing at the doom ahead if they lose, and the hope ahead if they win.
What I’ve come to love about New Zealand’s politics is the predictable ebb and flow of power between right and left. With our relatively short term of 3 years, each government typically has 1-3 terms in power, before handing the baton back over the other major party.
The metaphor I like to use is like walking a tightrope. Lean too far, for too long, in one direction and you fall off. But it’s the balance between both sides that keep the country on track.
My best managers shared a common trait: they asked great questions.
Their questions get to the heart of an issue; bringing clarity and structure. They avoid the unimportant, and keep the end goal in mind.
In contrast, I’ve noticed how poorer managers jump to conclusions, suggest ideas without adequate context, and how they lack the curiosity and confidence to ask questions.
To improve our own question-asking skills, we should get comfortable increasing our ratio of asking questions to giving answers. And then, over time, continually refine the quality of our questions to get to what matters faster.
Generate a lot of ideas.
Consider each of them.
Play out how each of them could work until you reach their logical conclusion.
And don’t fear the bad ideas; they help pave the way for the good ones.
Not every draft needs to make it to a post.
The more we’re willing to leave a draft on the cutting room floor, the more drafts we’re willing to create, the greater chance we have of finding the message worth publishing.
It’s a game of numbers.
Make more drafts.
A friend invited me to a Zeca Pagodinho concert this evening. Pagodinho is a Brazilian samba legend. I was excited to go, even though I know very little about the genre.
The Barbican theatre was packed to the brim with Brazilian fans; many there to do more singing than listening. The icon, Zeca, knew this too. He shared the stage with his audience; providing the music but letting the crowd do much of the singing.
It’s a surreal feeling being in a room where you know none of the songs, but almost everybody else knows all of them.
It was a treat to watch the icon and the audience do their thing.
The Rugby World Cup has exited out of the pool stages.
The time for razzle-dazzle, fanciful play is over.
As we enter knockout finals, the game turns into a slow grind. Each team moving forward by inches, and being unwilling to give an inch in return.
It’s time for grit, willpower, and back-to-basics tactics.
We’re at the business end.
Ask 10 people for advice and their recommendations almost always end up being in conflict with each other.
Despite having good intentions, some advisors will be wrong.
Triangulating between the group, spotting patterns, discerning what is believable vs. not, and ultimately landing on our own point of view—that’s the work to be done.
We can crowdsource advice, but we can’t outsource the answer.
A good friend recently took me to an independent coffee shop, Kumquat Coffee, in LA.
After every shot of espresso, the barista would take a brush and clean the machine; ensuring no traces of old coffee grounds made it into the next one.
It was a small action, but one that speaks volumes. I’ve never seen a barista in other coffee shops do that—even in the specialty ones.
How we do anything is how we do everything. The small actions count and add up over time.
The unwritten lesson often gets lost.
The written lesson can be shared, can be digested, can be built upon, can be refined.
When we write down what we learn, and share those lessons generously, it starts compounding.
I respect the advisor who says to seek out another opinion.
I tread with caution around the advisor who offers a singular point of view as the only path forward.
Our world is nuanced. It’s messy. Most roads to good work are uncharted.
Seek the other opinion, and keep close those who tell you to do so.
Long time readers know I’m a big fan of Jacob Collier. My opinion, and my bet, is that he’ll go down in history as more than a generational talent. He’s breaking rules and creating music that no one has imagined or dreamed of before, and even the best musicians are stumped by how his creations work.
Okay, enough. What I’m here to say is his most recent single is an effortlessly delivered tapestry of intricate sound. It reminds me of the feeling of swimming in a calm, clear, crystal-blue bay. Tranquil on the surface, but filled with immense depth when you look below the surface.
Don’t listen to Little Blue whilst you’re doing something else. Pull out some headphones, and listen with intention. I’m sure it’ll move you too.
Maru shared this Baz Luhrmann song with me when I was 19; only a few months after we met.
It’s not so much a song as it is a collection of life advice in 5 minutes.
I find myself rewatching it every couple of years. The lessons keep getting more real as the years pass.