It’s not doing the chore, planning the meal, or performing routine maintenance that is the problem. It’s the burden of thinking about the work.
Maru and I talk often about the importance of sharing the mental load in the home. It’s inevitable that the balance can sometimes swing more towards one person than the other, and if that happens we discuss how we can return things to equilibrium. Likewise, when one person has a lot of their plate, we figure out how the other person can take on more of the mental load.
Every family, friendship group, and team has a mental load. We do ourselves a favour when we talk openly about how we can share it.